TYTrack thoughts:
I’ve always seen him as a bit of a kindred spirit. Kind of a ‘duh’ way to start this off because that’s why most people are fans of who they like. But, if you’re a fan of his then you probably agree that he seems more like an acquaintance that you admire than a celebrity most of the time. Of course part of that is me being the kind of parasocial K-pop fanatic that companies market toward but.. to be fair… Taeyong is the kind of parasocial perfectionist that companies scout for too so it doesn’t make me feel as weird to say we’re alike in many ways. I’m like 96% sure he would agree. (And for the record we do both have Leo moons and were born in the late 1990s so when I say we’re kindred spirits I mean that). anyways. I’m going to talk about the film in kind of 3 different parts: lessons learned from it, healing the 127zen in you (that will lowkey never heal), and the music and performance (not that this is last because it’s least important it’s just this is how it hit me in order).Taeyong works incredibly hard doing what he does. If you’re a fan of NCT even on just a casual level you can see he’s a meticulous performer. I always imagined celebrities to be more concerned with how they measure up in other peoples eyes and standards than having their own measures of success. Especially for k-pop idols whose careers can hinge on how they measure up to others standards. Taeyong deviates from this, working to impress himself and meet his own (really high) standards more than anything else at this point in his career. Besides the concert itself this is what the core of the movie is about - Taeyong creating a challenge to prove that he could do it to himself. I do the same kind of things for myself and realized how alike we are in that way (must be the Leo Moonism). I feel like as I grow older I start to realize how most of the time my thoughts on how I’ve done something or how I’m doing make (or break!) moments for myself more than what other people think. Sometimes I can blame circumstance but I can rarely blame other people when I feel dissatisfied or satisfied with how I’ve done something or what I’m doing, those feelings come from within me. It could be a million people saying I did something well but if I don’t feel like I did well then I’m not going to be soothed by validation from others. I guess that can seem selfish and that’s why Leo Moon people at times rub others the wrong way, but it’s an internal conflict that doesn’t have anything to do with anybody else. Watching this movie you can see this is Taeyongs motivating force. He wanted to push himself to see if this was possible for him to pull off (a 23 song solo concert sung live full of self produced/written/created music) and how he would grow from doing it. It’s crazy how after 10+ years with countless features, lyric contributions, and choreography creation he still didn’t have the internal assurance to feel comfortable calling himself a Musical Artist. I honestly (and unfortunately) tend to act the same way about my past accomplishments. Not that it’s being ungrateful or downplaying what you’ve achieved, just the hunger for more and the desire to do even greater makes it hard to appreciate what’s been done. Taeyong is very familiar and human to me in that regard. I think this mindset is how he’s maintained such a strong identity and sense of self in an industry where the performers can be seen as commodities more than artists. You can tell from the way Taeyong speaks about performing that he is a true artist (even if he himself struggles to see it that way). I feel really motivated thinking about how he doesn’t concern himself with others or what they feel he’s doing or not doing well and cares more about what he thinks of himself. It’s also heartwarming how he adds that his fans loving him for who he is helps him to not get lost in the mental trap of what other people think. I just admire and enjoy him so much not only as an artist but as a human being - watching him work within his passion and grow over the last 4/5-ish years of being a fan has motivated me about working within my own passions. Not to be cringe but when he said we should work to be closer to our own dreams while he was away for enlistment, that meant a lot to me.
ok, moving away from how much I love the Mystical Motivating Riceball Man, lets talk about 127. The clips of 127 performing and the way he talks about them made me so emotional like :( I feel really.. just sad that you can tell he feels some level of guilt for having to leave and start the enlistment process for the whole group. Like when he was talking about it and said ‘Johnny said ‘it feels like we’ve just begun and now..’’ and trailed off bc he was about to cry I almost cried too. Like it’s one thing to be a bitter 127zen but I hate that they know they never got a fair chance either. it just really sucks and it sucks there’s really no closure for it it’s just… what it is and all we can do is accept it or not and move on. I just hate all of the dumbass shit they’ve been through as a group for no reason. Constantly innovating and pioneering trends for a company, industry AND fanbase that can’t understand and doesn’t appreciate them. I hate that you can tell that wears on them as artists at times. but while the grief is never ending so is the love and I’m glad there are fans who appreciate them as artists and that they know this. It’s also nice to see how they care about each other. the movie is positive and motivating overall so I guess we should try to think about the ‘only just begun’ quote positively instead of negatively because they do all have their whole careers ahead of them still so… it is what it is fr. Like I'll never fully be over how things went for them but I can accept theres nothing I can do about it fr.
Lastly! But not least-ly. All of the songs sound sooo freaking good on big speakers like I’m really anticipating the official release of these songs and will be pissed off if all of them don’t get official releases lol. Even songs I really did not care about before (ghost, moonlight) ended up being enjoyable to watch and listen to. The Loewe glittery set was so beautiful on a big screen. The choreography is really great for all of his songs too I wish there was a full dance practice that we could see for everything.. like everyone worked really hard and everything was sooo cool and impressive. He was also singing his ass off and it was neat to see how he agonized about how he was going to be able to do that. It didn’t look like an easy feat to perform 23 songs live and he worked so hard to being able to do that.
All in all.. Watching him work that hard kind of reinforced how hard I should be going after goals in my own life. Like wtf I actually have to lock in because if you do that.. incredible shit is possible. Like this, or this, or this. Its also really meaningful that he doesn’t feel like he needs validation to know that he’s growing. Its easier to do what other people tell you that you should be doing but he shows the greatest growth comes from challenging yourself and exceeding your own expectations. Taeyong, thank you for showing that you don’t need to prove your artistry to anybody but yourself.